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My Mother uses lemon juice for her complexion. Maybe that is why she always looks so sour....

I'm not ugly. I could marry anyone I pleased! But that's the problem - you don't please anyone...

Fred: What's that terribly ugly thing on your shoulders? Harry: Help! What is it? Fred: Your...

She's so ugly that when a wasp stings her it shuts its eyes....

First girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think that's vanity?...

Who won the Monster Beauty Contest? No one....

First Witch: I went to the beauty parlor yesterday. I was there for three hours. Second Witch:...

Mrs Saggy: Mrs Wrinkly tried to have a facelift last week. Mrs Baggy: Tried to? Mrs Saggy: Y...

They say Margaret is a raving beauty. You mean she's escaped from the funny farm?...

First witch: My beauty is timeless. Second witch: Yes, it could stop a clock....

A witch went into a beauty parlor and asked the assistant how much it would cost to make her loo...

A monster went to the doctor with a branch growing out of his head."Hmmm," said the doctor. "I...

I've just come back from the beauty parlour. Pity it was closed!...